Andy Ryan's Mongrel Mobiles – The way your car should have been designed!

Posts tagged “Car design

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The automobile art…
By Andy Ryan
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FB El Camira Side Stepper.

No Synchromesh! Two Speed Tri-matic Powerglide! A Top Secret prototype built in partnership with Chevrolet and Holden – built on a Camira chassis!

The US had been building larger versions of Australian designed cars for many years. For example the 1957 Chevrolet Belair was almost an exact copy of the 1962 FB Holden Special.It is not well known that the V8 engined Belair had only six working pistons, the remaining two pistons could not be produced within the allocated budget. Chevrolet had already produced their new 3D chrome V8 badge and were too embarrassed to change it after they realised that the cost of producing an actual V8 with 8 operational cylinders was going to be far too expensive. It was decided that six cylinders would be enough and hardly any one would notice. Some rattling noises could be heard from two conrods slapping around inside the engine block.


M O N G E L M O B I L E S


HK Commodore Fastback VN-GTS with Barbara Stanwyck and Sydney hoodlum.


TIP 1: Weld two 9 inch diffs together to form an 18 inch diff!

<p> TIP 2: Firstly, always delete HTML Tags! Ha! ATTENTION CAR OWNERS! When converting from left hand drive to right hand drive, don’t forget to swap over the brake and clutch pedals. The accelerator pedal can remain where it is but must be operated by the passenger. To maintain correct left hand drive gear ratios, the gearbox must be installed around the other way. TIP 3: Remove all your standard wheels and tyres and replace them with four space saver spare tyres and wheels. That way, if you get a flat tyre, you will have enough spares to get you home or to work, or wherever it was that you were going. Plus, you will have the added space of the area where the spare tyre should have been. TIP 4: Toyota Prius drivers: Are you annoyed that your car is only half electric? Annoyed that people can see your earth destroying exhaust pipe? Why not run the exhaust pipe inside the car, thus eliminating all noise coming from your supposed electric car. TIP 5: Ford Falcon owners: Start buying spare parts now for any Falcons built after 2010. As this will be the last Australian designed Falcon, please start purchasing parts you may need in the future. For example, if you think that in a few years, your gearbox or differential may malfunction, we recommend that a few replacement ones be purchased now, as in the future it will probably have to be imported or handmade. All future Falcons will be made from old European cut and shut Ford Mondeos and Fiestas. TIP 6: If you own a top-heavy 4 wheel drive car, install a Ford Pinto Fuel tank along with some 1965 Chevrolet Corvair Rear Suspension and let the good times roll!</p>


1957 Belair Nomad DeVille with hot model and gangster.


The Dim Sim Formula 1 Dual-purpose Le Mans Super Sportsman Vehicle

<p> This car was designed to compete in both the 1987 Melbourne Grand Prix, the 1988 Indy 500 in Queensland and the famous 1989 Le Mans 24 Hour Race which had been relocated to Adelaide due to Le Mans being closed for repairs to the toilets. This meant that all F1 teams needed to spend at least three years in Australia so many teams based themselves here. In those days there weren’t as many annoying safety rules in motor racing as there are these days and you could pretty much race your car anywhere you liked. And this is exactly what happened. Most F1 teams decided to get the most out of their visit to Australia and compete in as many events as possible. The Sauber team entered the Bathurst 1000 and finished fourth. BMW-Mercedes tried their luck at hill climbing and stock car racing but didn’t fare too well as they didn’t have enough grip with their slick tyres and low ground clearance. The Le Adelaide (as it was called then) 24 Hour Race had many F1 competitors. The Formula 1 Dual-purpose Le Mans Super Sportsman Vehicle was superb as it allowed one driver to sleep while the other raced up throughout the field. The caravan had an on-board toilet and a two berth men’s urinal, a card table, a microwave, two can openers and some car spare parts such as fan belts, door handles and so forth. Many teams camped out while travelling around Australia and to save money, the F1 car was often used to tow around all the gear and crew for the race.</p>